do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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