yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize