Yo dont text me then not text me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
