their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
