you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
its liver damage thursday
Randomize