just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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