U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
