If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
