You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
