You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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