ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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