i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to have your abortion
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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