I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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