ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
