I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
