Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
