Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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