you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
