He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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