i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
