Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
