You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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