You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
