I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
