I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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