my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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