Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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