Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
