You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize