I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
