im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
how drunk are you?
Several
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
