my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
