So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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