Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize