She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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