now i know why i became what i already was.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
