Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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