5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize