haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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