you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
