also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
