I seem to have left my pride at pride
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
