the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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