There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
