He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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