Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was confusing and full of hummus
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
