For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
