You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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