walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
