he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
