I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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