happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
why is half of my head shaved?
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