I'm drive I can fine osifer
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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