It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
