But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
