i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
