He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
