Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
