Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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