I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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