ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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