Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
