Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize