Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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