Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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