worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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