you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize