My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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