if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
