Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
