I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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