why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
