I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize